We stopped at Mickey D's. Bran and Noboru both picked Big Mac combos. Noah had 2 cheeseburgers and this order of fries pictured here and I had the pancakes. We hopped along the highway and did not eat from 12 noon that Friday until 11:20pm that night. We drove and drove and drove and the traffic sucked and sucked and sucked. But we finally arrived to Noboru's grandma's house around 5:45pm Friday night. It was dark already. We pulled up to the front of her house. One of Noboru's cousins was outside smoking a cigarette as we parked. We didn't know if there was 1 or 2 people inside the house or like a 100. We walked into the genkan and by the amount of shoes, and voices, we could tell there were about a bazillion people inside. We 4 entered. And to my surprise his grandma's dead body was laying in the living room on a futon. She was covered in white, all you could see was her face, not even her hair.
Modern day Japan, they have it at a ceremony hall, sort of like we have ours in America. This is how we did ours, when I was growing up...keep in mind for what it's worth, I'm American and Catholic, so the way we do ours, is, we have 3 separate services, when someone dies. There is the viewing or wake, usually at the mortuary or funeral home. Then #2, we usually have a funeral at the Catholic church. And then we have the burial, where we usually all ride in limos with a police escort to the cemetery. And have the 3rd and last service there at the cemetery. So that's how I saw things done when I was growing up. What do I know about Japanese funerals? Not much, but some. Modern day ones are done at ceremony halls, like I said and then they also take you to the cremation center. And then I have also heard of the old school type is the body is at the families house. I have heard of both ways. But I have yet to see either way. So, I had no idea where great grandma's body was. I did not know if she was at her home or at some "ceremony hall" but when we walked in and saw her there, I realized right away. Also, please keep in mind, Branden and Noah have never seen a dead body or person before in real life. Dead cat along the road? Sure. But someone they loved and hugged and kissed and cared about? No. Noboru's uncles, aunts, Noboru's sister and brother were there. Wife of Jun, my sil. Kids galore. Cousins times a billion. Everyone had been paying respects and as we entered it was our turn. Noboru went first. Noboru's not very overly emotional. Meaning he doesn't cry during sappy commercials like I sometimes can. However, when he sat and faced his grandma he cried and he cried and he cried. Don't ask me why, but it caused his brother and sister to cry. Jun's wife started crying. I started crying, his uncle started crying. Branden and Noah were just shocked. I think it was their first time ever seeing their dad cry, Like in the history of the world for them like...ever! He then went to the shrine type set-up near her head and he knelt on a white pillow, lit an incense, Clanked a golden bowl of some sort with a mini metal gong piece. And the house was silent, we were still crying. Then he turned to me and said...your turn. I felt a thousand eyeballs upon me. I felt nervous. What if I mess up something. I knelt on the white pillow and did my stuff. I don't think I hit the golden bowl loud enough. My sound was much quieter than Noboru's sound. Should I redo mine? I did think and ponder but clearly the answer is NO! So, I moved and Branden went and Noah went after. Sitting in a living room about 12 tatami mat size with a billion people in there plus 1 deceased family member. You suddenly feel really aware that there is indeed a deceased body right there. But after a while, conversations get going and I'd temporarily forget she was there and then I'd remember again. We have not seen everyone for 2 years. So, it was good to catch up. Wish it was under better circumstances. When Noboru's cousin, the one who moved from Osaka to Okinawa arrived from her flight and walked in the house. She arrived about 45 minutes after us, she knelt down in front of her grandmother and she cried so loudly....she was truly inconsolable. That was absolutely heartbreaking watching that. She knelt there and spoke and cried and grieved. There were neighbors popping in to pay respects in between here and there. At one point, Noboru said to me in English and then he said it in Japanese. But he said. "My grandma was 86 years old! She had a long wonderful happy life! And for her being 86 years old, she had not 1 enemy! Not 1 person could say they disliked or had hatred for my grandmother, she loved absolutely everyone, she saw the good in everyone and was loved and liked by everyone" Noboru then said that in Japanese and everyone actually totally agreed. She was a truly remarkable lady. She was so caring and lovely to me personally, always making me a cup of coffee or pouring me something to drink, bringing out fruit or a senbei. Every time we'd go back to Chiba, she'd pack us some snacks and some extra blankets or whatnot. Take this!!! She'd say. She was just such a lovely lady. And yeah, Noboru was right. She had a long wonderful life and by seeing all of us who came to pay respects she was loved by many! So while sad, we did choose to celebrate the absolute awesomeness of such a kind pure hearted lady. We meanwhile, had been looking for a hotel in Osaka during our time at grandma's house. However we waited too late and there were no rooms in Osaka city for that night. We were offered to stay at Noboru's sister's place but she has a very small place and Jun and his family were staying there too. It was very kind of them to offer, but we couldn't imagine 10 people all trying to share 1 bathroom. So while we were thankful for the offer, we knew we had to find a place. The only place available for a family of 4 was in Nara. So we booked and left Noboru's grandma's house. We had told everyone that we had to get back and considering traffic. And the fact Noboru had work Sunday. And it was already Friday night, he told them we were leaving. Jun had decided he also was going to leave Saturday morning 7am-ish. So neither Noboru and his family or Jun and his family were able to attend the actual cremation service Sunday March 22nd, (my birthday) also it turns out that her birthday was March 21st and so she was an Aries, just like me. No wonder we got along so well, his grandma and I. I was sad, we had to leave Osaka so quickly. But I understood Noboru's reasoning. Given the crappy traffic to Osaka, we had to prepare in case it was that way on our way back to Chiba. So in the end, leaving Friday night was the right thing to do. |
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