Choosing a new school.

Branden's out of school until April. School's start in April here in Japan, so he's basically on vacation until then. Thing is, we're trying to decide which school to send him to.

In Yachiyo there were about 5 or 6 different yochien's and we went to all of them and then decided the best, where we felt most comfortable sending our son to. So for us, it wasn't so hard finding which school we liked.

But here where we live now, it's proving a little more difficult. In the town we live in there is only 1 school. Yes, you've heard that correctly, only one! Isn't that strange? And it's not a yochien, it's a hoikuen.

Since I'm American, and therefore have no experience going to school here myself, I can safely say I am not really anti- hoikuen. And I have no prejudices either way. I really don't see the difference. I mean they are both for little kids. And they both teach kids stuff and they both participate in school activities like undokai (sports day) and Christmas recital's etc. So as far as me caring which way or the other? I don't mind either way at all.

Here's the problem. It seems that many Japanese have a strong and I mean a *strong* preference to yochien.

We had company the other night. A friend of Noboru's who works at NWA and his wife and their two kids age 5 and 7. The seven year old is in first grade now but the younger one goes to yochien. Also, they live in the same exact community we live in.

I asked the mother (she speaks English btw, she was an exchange student in Florida and went to University in California) so, I asked her if her daughter goes to the hoikuen right down the street, like only 3 minutes away from our houses. She said, "oh no, no, no way!!!! I drive the 8 km every day to Sawara, to take my daughter to yochien" I didn't say anything because she seemed to be so utterly and completely anti- hoikuen and went on about how horrible sending your kid to hoikuen is and how yochien is the way to go, blah blah blah! Between you and me, I think driving freaking 16 flipping km every single day, rain or shine is absolutely more nuts then sending your kid to hoikuen! But then again that's just me and my opinion though.

Geeze, what could be said after that? I said, well, Branden was going to yochien, so I do know yochien is pretty good. But I am wondering about the hoikuen. She then switched to Japanese language and drove her point to Noboru. Telling my husband something about how utterly horrible hoikuen is. Gasp!

To add to this, Noboru and Mitsuko (my mother in law) seemed to have had belief's like this beforehand anyway. So this just further added fuel to the flame. Every time she would go to Branden's school she would tell Noboru, how Branden was getting such a top notch education and blah blah and how my sil was sending her two kids to hoikuen and they didn't learn anything at all! Now, I honestly don't believe this at all and think that's a big bunch of crapola! I think if my nephew and niece aren't learning things, it's because my sil hasn't taught them diddly squat! And I certainly wouldn't blame that on the hoikuen! Branden knows stuff because *I* teach him stuff and also the yochien. So, yeah Noboru and Mitsuko were pretty much slamming and making horrible comments about hoikuen for the past year. And this has drove me nuts this past year.

So anyway, we move here and we start thinking about which school to send Branden. Personally, I think we should just go with the hoikuen totally, because it is only 2 to 3 minutes drive away at the most! It's so close. We have a perfectly good school right near our house so why ship him off to another one that makes life even harder, this just doesn't make sense to me at all! The parking of the hoikuen is nice and big and yes it is important because the school Branden went to last year, the parking for me was hell. They never had adequate parking! So, to me, I think we should send him to hoikuen. Noboru was even sorta agreeing with me!

However our company a few days ago totally changed things and stopped that idea right quick!!! After that lady was bashing away at the hoikuen. Now Noboru doesn't even want to think about sending Branden to hoikuen! He won't even consider it because of what that lady said! Sigh! Who has to suffer for this? I do! Ha ha ha, because I'm the one who will be driving him 8 km back and forth, every freakin single day!

I don't know much about the difference between Hoikuen's and yochien's (I'm no expert) but for those of you in the US. Let me give a stab at the dark of explaining the difference. Yochien is for the most part, private school (for preschool and kindergarten). Yes, there are some public yochien's but most are private and I swear the sheer snob factor, plays a great deal into the fact why they are more popular! Also and this may be horrible to say, but it's what my husband says and what a lot of Japanese people say. They view hoikuen's as being for *poor people* plain and simple. People down on their luck, type people! People who have hit rough times! Again, this is probably just a stereo type (I'm sure it is). But, after speaking to a hell of a lot of Japanese about this, such as the other moms at Branden's old school, I realize yes, they really do feel this way about "hoikuen people". Come on, is this not just absolutely nuts! What's the big deal?

Hoikuen is for working parents or people who have family illness and can't care for their kids. So yes, even though we shouldn't say so, there is a stigma attached to sending your kid to hoikuen. And yes a ton of Japanese people feel this way (now, whether they are willing to admit it and own that they feel this way is an entirely different thing). I know because I have quite a number of Japanese friends and have all discussed this with them.

What do I think about this? Again, I'm not tainted either way! I really don't mind sending Branden to either one. But now this lady from the other night, got Noboru all riled up against how horrible hoikuen is and now he is not even considering it!

Anyway, we still got some time to think but, Noboru wants to send Branden to the same yochien Mrs. anti- hoikuen sends her daughter! Ha ha ha! Errr! I rather not! Because I figure if Mrs. anti-hoikuen is wound *this* tightly about yochien vs. hoikuen, then what else could she have her panties in a bunch about ykwim? I seriously don't see the big freaking deal with hoikuen in the first place! So, I don't think we really see eye to eye on this at all. So, no I rather not run into Mrs. anti- Hoikuen every single day for the rest of my life, if we both send our kids to the same yochien ykwim?

So, Noboru has checked online at all the schools in our area and he found a very nice private Roman Catholic yochien. I think he likes it for the sheer fact it's yochien and it's not only private, it's even one step better, because it's a private *catholic* school none the less! He sorta has me here, because me being Roman Catholic myself and going to Catholic school for my entire education, I have a soft spot for Catholic school. And I admit I would love for Branden and in the future for Noah to be attending private Catholic school.

I mean, both the boys are baptized Roman Catholics anyways as you all know already. And are being brought up and raised as Catholics by me anyway. So the boys going to private Catholic school, couldn't hurt right? In fact this could end up being the best idea, I mean I'd be sending them to Catholic school anyway, if we lived in the US, right? So might as well do the same here in Japan, if I have the chance. In fact they might end up really loving it!

We discussed this yochien vs. hoikuen talk at breakfast this morning. Noboru stated his opinion and he said "I'd rather the kids go to yochien and *not* go to hoikuen" and then I said, "I don't see the big deal #1 with hoikuen!!!" "and if we do end up sending him to yochien, then Branden, certainly isn't going to the yochien where that lady sends her daughter!" "If and I mean *if* we send Branden to yochien, I will only agree, if we send him to private Catholic yochien" he said, he agreed about that!

So anyway nothing has been set in stone as of yet. But that's what we are currently discussing at our house.

I'm sure all of you in the US are strongly rooting we send the boys to the private Catholic school huh? Ha ha ha.

My stance is simple. The school closet to us, is hoikuen and we should send him to hoikuen. It couldn't be that bad, right? Should be the same, I imagine. However ever since Mrs. anti-hoikuen poisoned Noboru's mind about it the other night, he won't even consider this. And I'm also aware Noboru is trying to sway me, with the whole Catholic factor of the yochien, ha ha ha. I'm smart enough to figure that out! He wants Branden to go to yochien, bottom line. Anyway that's where we're at right now.