I went in, they called my name. They took my blood pressure. The lady told me I have low blood pressure. Granted she said....not too low but low-ish. Alrighty. And then they sent me to bus #1, the papsmear/vaginal check. That went well, didn't take so long.
Next I went to the breast check. I entered the ultrasound breast exam bus. You know...this bus is my favorite. They always play pretty loud 80's music. I've blogged the songs they played the last few years. When I walked in this time last week. The theme to the Breakfast Club was on. And I wondered to myself...wasn't this song playing last year too? : ) Then I wondered...I bet they're using a CD. Then I wondered...who bought the CD...was it the ultrasound tech lady? She seems like the one who picked this music. Yeah...I bet it was her I thought. : ) So, there I was taking off my top and bra covering myself with the navy blue hibiscus towel from the top part of my body. Tan flat front khaki shorts. The song changed and the lady opened up my curtain...please come in, she said in Japanese. It's very dark in the room. The only thing you can really see is the lighted illuminated screen and buttons of the ultrasound machine. I laid down on the bed/exam table. She said...lay down relax and banzai your arms please, lol. : ) And so I did. : )
Aha this was the same lady I've seen for years, I thought to myself. I told her...your hair has grown since last year. Last year it was a a little above your shoulders and a bob. All one length is how I told her in Japanese. She was very happy and surprised I'd remember such a thing. She said..yeah yeah that is right, I grew it out. Yours is a little longer now too. I know, I smiled as she was ultra sounded my first breast. Another 80's song played.
As many of you know, my mom had breast cancer. Beat it. But it totally affected our whole family, we were all so worried, so wanting to help...but also feeling so powerless too, cancer sucks. There's just no other nice way to say it. It was hardest on her. So when the 80's loving ultrasound tech, got to my 2nd breast, she stopped midway. I think knowing my family history it's no wonder, the usually calm me. Could feel my heart now beating out of my chest. I think at that second my blood pressure just went right through the roof. If she finds something..I don't want to know. I thought. Oh no, that's so stupid... of course I would want to know...I'd *need* to know. Of course I'd want to know. As you can tell, I was thinking a thousand different things during this 30 second time frame here! Finding it fastest equals best results, any logical person knows that. I could not even swallow for about a second or two.... I just stood there like a statue. with my hands above my head still.... laying down. I had to know....I would be in freaking limbo land for the next month waiting for results. Are things okay....I just spit it out. Yes...things are fine Mrs. Blank. Okay...you know my history, so just please always tell me.: ( This time she smiled and said...I just happened to run out of gel. And I needed more. Ohhh. @_@ Huge relief flashes across my face. Phew. : ) Yes, I think I am officially her most nervous patient ever. And for that...I am truly sorry. And I am aware.... I always ask her if things are okay. : ) I know this. I just can't help it.: (
I know this will always be a sore spot with me. The one thing that always scares the absolute heck out of me. And it's understandable why. I like that bus..I like the music and I really like that lady too. But my gosh...never do I ever feel.... as vulnerable as when I am sitting on that examining table.:(
It should take 1 month for all the results to be mailed to my house. The bright side is...at least I go for my yearly check ups. : ) Anyway hopefully the results will be mailed to my house quickly and all will be good news. And I will not have to think about it so much, at least for the next 10-11 months. : ) I still do the monthly checks in the shower though. Just making sure all seems okay. : ) Anyway...long story short, I went for my yearly lady type exam last week. : )